Check-Mate by Liz Spear

Review

"Hysterically Funny. The repetition of days, food and activities struck a chord with all the old marrieds in the audience."
Somerset Players review

Synopsis

Ginnie and Geoff have reached the comfortable state in their marriage, a predictable routine until the arrival, in their household, of brilliant, French beauty, Simone Blondelle, who sets the marriage in turmoil, with Geoff enjoying Simone's attentions and Ginnie misreading events. The play opens with Ginnie and Geoff involved in a game of chess. Each take turns to address the audience whilst reliving their story but always return to the chess game. Finally, the real reason for Simone's attempted seduction of Geoff is revealed and Ginnie makes up with Geoff in a totally unpredictable way.

Published by New Theatre Publications. http://www.plays4theatre.com

Listed online at Doollee.com a database of playwrights and their plays. http://www.doollee.com/SpearLiz.htm

An extract from Check - Mate

The stage is empty, except for a table with a chess game in progress centre stage. Two chairs are at the table, one SL and one SR.(CD player set S.L - optional) There is a door U.S. Centre Left at the back. The lights come up. GEOFFand GINNIE are sitting opposite each other. GEOFFstares stonily ahead. A chess game is in progress. There is an undercurrent of anger. GINNIE takes her queen and deliberately and firmly bangs it down on the board.

PAUSE

GINNIE: Get out of that! If you can!

GEOFF: (UNRUFFLED) You think I can’t? GINNIE turns to the audience and indicates GEOFF with a nod of her head and her thumb.

GINNIE: He’s good at wriggling out of things - that one! Take the other day....

GEOFF: (To GINNIE) I can’t do this. (To audience) I really don’t want to do this.

GINNIE: (Overrides him) Typical elevenses!

GEOFF rises reluctantly and faces front and moves into an elaborate mime punctuated by a few words of description from GINNIE. Once accepting that he has to do it , he does it wholeheartedly. He stands in front of a kitchen unit with a bread board and takes a slice of bread from the loaf.

GINNIE: Bread!

(He begins to butter the slice.)

GINNIE: Butter. . . not margarine!

(He removes a jar of chocolate spread from the cupboard and takes the lid off, dips his knife in the spread and begins to lash on the chocolate.)

GINNIE: And chocolate spread. . . lashings of it. He’s good at spreading it about. . . since. . ! (The door opens and a beautiful young girl, dressed in baby doll pyjamas, mischievously creeps up behind him. GEOFF turns suddenly with the plate in his hand encounters the girl and drops the plate. They bend down together, to pick up the pieces. He cuts his finger, their heads are very close. They freeze, gazing at each other. GINNIE rises.)

GINNIE: I mean, look at that! He’s old enough to be her father! (GINNIE indicates the young woman.)

GINNIE: Nubile, nymphette here, is a genius - daughter of a French professor. IQ 152. Brains to match her bust. . . . Big! Meet Simone Blondelle.

(The action between the couple unfreezes.)

SIMONE: Sorry! (notices his bleeding finger) Aah! You’ve cut yourself. (She takes his finger and sucks it - the blood. GEOFF reacts. GEOFF steps out of the scene and addresses the audience.)

GEOFF: What do you do? You reach a point in your life where you’re. . . (searching for the word) comfortable.

GINNIE: (Squares to challenge him) Comfortable?

GEOFF: You know what I mean. . . At ease. . . don’t have to try. . . an effortless routine. (The more he tries to explain, the more he puts his foot in it)

GINNIE: Routine?. . . (She responds dryly) You mean boring!

GEOFF: (To audience, explaining ) Simone Blondelle is the daughter of a very old friend of ours. . .

GINNIE: (Joins in explanation) Our best man. She came to stay, ...as a favour while, Pierre - her father, was away on a lecture tour.

GEOFF: (Still to audience) The first shock was seeing the shyness, braces and pigtails gone. And what an impressive mind!

GINNIE: Huh!

GEOFF returns to the scene with SIMONE.

GINNIE: So while, Vampira here, was sucking the life out of him.... I came in.

(GINNIE moves back to the door and acts as if coming upon the scene.)

GINNIE: (Over politely) Oh dear! What’s going on here?

SIMONE: Poor Monsieur Jarrow, he cut himself. Saliva is a wonderful disinfectant.

GINNIE: Can’t he use his own?

GEOFF: (Quickly) I didn’t think of it!

GINNIE: (Knowingly to audience ) That’s honest!...He wouldn’t be quick enough to think of it.

SIMONE: I am feeling a little. . . er. . . perhaps I’d better get dressed. (SIMONE quickly takes her leave and exits from the kitchen. GINNIE and GEOFF resume their seats and the chess game.)

GEOFF: Ha! See! I can jump your bishop, threaten your queen. Now, who’s in trouble?

GINNIE: (MUTTERS) Jumping? Huh! (To audience) He can talk about jumping!

(SILENCE They stare at the chess board.)

GINNIE: (Smiles in triumph) Castle! (She swaps her King and Castle there are no pieces in between)

GEOFF: (Turning to the audience) I’m not the only one in a rut, although she won’t admit it. (Smiling, he triumphantly moves a chess piece)

GINNIE: You haven’t given me a chance.

GEOFF:(To audience) I love my wife, Ginnie. I do! Our marriage is safe. I like the ease. . . the comfort, but it is sometimes dull, predictable.

(GINNIE has been listening. She turns to the audience.)

GINNIE: That’s not entirely true! (GINNIE rises moves to the door as if coming in and stops.)

GINNIE: I came home from the hairdressers, Thursday morning.

GEOFF: (To audience) Steak night and Callanetics.

(GEOFF rises and moves smartly from the table and stands staring out of the window stage right, looking into the garden below in drooling delight, totally absorbed. GINNIE breezes in.)

GINNIE: Do you like it? (Does a twirl) Geoff?

(GEOFF doesn’t move. He maintains his pose of rapture and delight.)

GEOFF: Mmm? (He gives a little wave out the window)

GINNIE: My new hairdo.

(GEOFF doesn’t move, doesn’t look.)

GEOFF: (absently ) Lovely dear. Very nice.

GINNIE: But you’re not even...... (To audience) I could have had a purple Mohican with yellow spots. He wouldn’t have noticed. (Strides to window ) Geoff! What are you looking at?(At this question, GEOFF becomes instantly alert. What follows is a strange dance where GEOFF tries to stop GINNIE from seeing what he sees.)

GEOFF: I was just admiring the view.

GINNIE: Why? What’s happening in the garden?

GEOFF: Nothing! Some interesting wild life.

GINNIE: Wildlife?

GEOFF: (lamely) Birds.

Check - Mate

A Comedy by Liz Spear

Review

An extract from Check - Mate

A Comedy by
Liz Spear